Bantu lah aku melawan nafsu...

Telah aku lawan nafsuku setiap waktu
Ku cuba berkali-kali, ku gagal lagi
Aku tak putus asa, ku lawan lagi
Namun aku tak mampu, ku kalah jua

Oh Tuhan, bantulah aku mudahkan aku
Melawan nafsu ini yang merosakkanku
Agar aku tak terhalang untuk menuju-Mu
Tolonglah aku Tuhan, Kasihanilah aku jangan Engkau biarkan aku

Tuhan, bantulah aku
Kasihani aku jangan biarkanku bantulah aku selalu
Aku tak putus asa
Oh ku tetap berjuang dengan mengharap bantuan dari-Mu

Kalaulah Engkau terus membiarkanku
Ku akan berterusan ke lembah dosa
Oh Tuhan, nafsu dan syaitan sering mengganggu aku
Setiap hari ia memusuhi ku ketika ku ingin mentaati-Mu

Jangan biarkan aku keseorangan
Menghadapi syaitan dan nafsuku
Aku ingin mentaati-Mu, ku ingin redha-Mu
Kalau Engkau biarkan aku
Ku akan kecewa nanti

Tuhan, ku akan mencuba lagi
Melawan nafsu dengan bantuan-Mu
Dan rahmat-Mu Tuhan

Di dalam sembahyang ini kuharapkan-Mu
Berikan padaku cinta dan takutkan-Mu
Sebagai pengawalku dari nafsuku
Bukankah itu janji-Mu kepada hamba-Mu

Oh Tuhan, bantulah aku menghayati sembahyangku
Agar ku dapat merasakan kebesaran-Mu
Hingga aku tak membesarkan selain-Mu
Dengan rasa itu kuharap
Moga ku kan dapat melawan syaitan dan tipuan nafsuku

Tuhan, dalam sembahyangku
Bersihkan jiwaku, lemahkan nafsuku, selamatkanlah diriku
Suburkan rasa kehambaan
Dan kekalkan rasa itu di dalam seluruh kehidupan ku"

To all single ladies......Don't despair and never lose hope.

You know at this age (sweet 30), going out from house and meeting your girlfriends becomes a hideous and (may be) an unpleasant business. Yes, we did enjoyed our early 20s and 30s - from school days to college, gallivanting around town, painting them red and had the best time of our lives with nothing to worry.

As we usher to the late 30s, each one of my friends seemed to vanish into the thin air. I know that they are only a phone call away, but they seemed like a million miles away when we are under one roof.

Talks about shoes and bags being truncated and immediately changed to EBM and breastfeeding. Chats about holidays and trips were replaced with tales about their toddlers and newborns. And you can bet on it, gushes about boyfriends being replaced by talks about husbands - one of other thing that I definitely DON'T have.

Don't get me wrong, I love them girlfriends the way there are and I'm sharing their happiness too. I get it. They are happy and want to share it with me. BUT, trying to fit in would be the most difficult thing to do. You can't expect them to hear your babble about the cute boy in your department and your work problem when they have bigger things to worry such as how they are low on their milk production, how their kids have jaundice, how they have yet to conceive etc.

Then, all of the sudden, it seemed that all our similarities gone out the window and each time I'm with them, I just zonked out and don't know what to say. They claimed I become more quiet these days. Truth is, I just don't know what else to say. I don't speak their language and they stopped speaking mine. And we're getting further and further apart. I chose to slowly get out of that community, simply because I don't think I belong.

I figured, I'd rather find a new muse for all the free times that I have now. Alhamdulillah, I found one and it's with Him. I decided to be a better Muslimah and I fell in love with that. I don't feel despair anymore, I know exactly who to turn to when I'm in dire need. As for the girlfriends, we are still good. But the 'not-fit-in' feeling are long gone now. Allah definitely doesn't pick sides and I'm blessed for that.

There must be a reason why Allah haven't granted me a husband to this very day. I just have to accept them and ask for forgiveness from the Almighty. We have to do post mortem on ourselves rather than have bad judgement to Allah on why Allah doesn't granted our prayers. First of, He is not obligated to grant them, we are His humble servant and He has all the rights to treat us the way He likes. But Allah is not cruel to us. We have to dissect, it could be the sins we have commited in the past, our relationship with our parents and others and also maybe because Allah wants us to serve our parents a bit longer.

And now I'm trying my best to become closer to Allah in every minute of my waking life. I'm sure my prayers will be granted one day and Allah knows what's the best for me. Not because He doesn't love me, simply because He loves me too much and save the best for last. I have faith in that and you ladies, should too.

So, to all my single ladies out there, quoting Maher Zain "Don't despair and never lose hope. Cause Allah is always by your side, InsyaAllah.." He's nearer than you can ever imagine. You just know how to find Him. InsyaAllah ..

"When God gives you a gift, it is so you are aware of divine kindness. When God deprives you, it is so you are aware of divine power" - Ibn 'Ata' allah RahimuAllah.

- Artikel iluvislam.com