Bantu lah aku melawan nafsu...

Telah aku lawan nafsuku setiap waktu
Ku cuba berkali-kali, ku gagal lagi
Aku tak putus asa, ku lawan lagi
Namun aku tak mampu, ku kalah jua

Oh Tuhan, bantulah aku mudahkan aku
Melawan nafsu ini yang merosakkanku
Agar aku tak terhalang untuk menuju-Mu
Tolonglah aku Tuhan, Kasihanilah aku jangan Engkau biarkan aku

Tuhan, bantulah aku
Kasihani aku jangan biarkanku bantulah aku selalu
Aku tak putus asa
Oh ku tetap berjuang dengan mengharap bantuan dari-Mu

Kalaulah Engkau terus membiarkanku
Ku akan berterusan ke lembah dosa
Oh Tuhan, nafsu dan syaitan sering mengganggu aku
Setiap hari ia memusuhi ku ketika ku ingin mentaati-Mu

Jangan biarkan aku keseorangan
Menghadapi syaitan dan nafsuku
Aku ingin mentaati-Mu, ku ingin redha-Mu
Kalau Engkau biarkan aku
Ku akan kecewa nanti

Tuhan, ku akan mencuba lagi
Melawan nafsu dengan bantuan-Mu
Dan rahmat-Mu Tuhan

Di dalam sembahyang ini kuharapkan-Mu
Berikan padaku cinta dan takutkan-Mu
Sebagai pengawalku dari nafsuku
Bukankah itu janji-Mu kepada hamba-Mu

Oh Tuhan, bantulah aku menghayati sembahyangku
Agar ku dapat merasakan kebesaran-Mu
Hingga aku tak membesarkan selain-Mu
Dengan rasa itu kuharap
Moga ku kan dapat melawan syaitan dan tipuan nafsuku

Tuhan, dalam sembahyangku
Bersihkan jiwaku, lemahkan nafsuku, selamatkanlah diriku
Suburkan rasa kehambaan
Dan kekalkan rasa itu di dalam seluruh kehidupan ku"

To all single ladies......Don't despair and never lose hope.

You know at this age (sweet 30), going out from house and meeting your girlfriends becomes a hideous and (may be) an unpleasant business. Yes, we did enjoyed our early 20s and 30s - from school days to college, gallivanting around town, painting them red and had the best time of our lives with nothing to worry.

As we usher to the late 30s, each one of my friends seemed to vanish into the thin air. I know that they are only a phone call away, but they seemed like a million miles away when we are under one roof.

Talks about shoes and bags being truncated and immediately changed to EBM and breastfeeding. Chats about holidays and trips were replaced with tales about their toddlers and newborns. And you can bet on it, gushes about boyfriends being replaced by talks about husbands - one of other thing that I definitely DON'T have.

Don't get me wrong, I love them girlfriends the way there are and I'm sharing their happiness too. I get it. They are happy and want to share it with me. BUT, trying to fit in would be the most difficult thing to do. You can't expect them to hear your babble about the cute boy in your department and your work problem when they have bigger things to worry such as how they are low on their milk production, how their kids have jaundice, how they have yet to conceive etc.

Then, all of the sudden, it seemed that all our similarities gone out the window and each time I'm with them, I just zonked out and don't know what to say. They claimed I become more quiet these days. Truth is, I just don't know what else to say. I don't speak their language and they stopped speaking mine. And we're getting further and further apart. I chose to slowly get out of that community, simply because I don't think I belong.

I figured, I'd rather find a new muse for all the free times that I have now. Alhamdulillah, I found one and it's with Him. I decided to be a better Muslimah and I fell in love with that. I don't feel despair anymore, I know exactly who to turn to when I'm in dire need. As for the girlfriends, we are still good. But the 'not-fit-in' feeling are long gone now. Allah definitely doesn't pick sides and I'm blessed for that.

There must be a reason why Allah haven't granted me a husband to this very day. I just have to accept them and ask for forgiveness from the Almighty. We have to do post mortem on ourselves rather than have bad judgement to Allah on why Allah doesn't granted our prayers. First of, He is not obligated to grant them, we are His humble servant and He has all the rights to treat us the way He likes. But Allah is not cruel to us. We have to dissect, it could be the sins we have commited in the past, our relationship with our parents and others and also maybe because Allah wants us to serve our parents a bit longer.

And now I'm trying my best to become closer to Allah in every minute of my waking life. I'm sure my prayers will be granted one day and Allah knows what's the best for me. Not because He doesn't love me, simply because He loves me too much and save the best for last. I have faith in that and you ladies, should too.

So, to all my single ladies out there, quoting Maher Zain "Don't despair and never lose hope. Cause Allah is always by your side, InsyaAllah.." He's nearer than you can ever imagine. You just know how to find Him. InsyaAllah ..

"When God gives you a gift, it is so you are aware of divine kindness. When God deprives you, it is so you are aware of divine power" - Ibn 'Ata' allah RahimuAllah.

- Artikel iluvislam.com

Kau Yang Terindah......

Perkenalan pertama....di saat dia datang..Xde ape2 perasaan pun yang singgah dalam hati aku ini. Cuma memandang dia sebagai seorang yang "poyo" dan dia plak me label aku sebagai "budak kecik kerek"..Di perkenal kan oleh kawan kepada housemate aku..Mule2 mmg aku buat2 sombong skit..Al maklum la x bape kenal..Walaupun agak kacak..Hehehehe...Tapi disebabkan taik lalat dier yg spesel kat muka tu, aku jd tertarik..Ehh!...serius la...topik pertama aku tegur dier pasal taik lalat..Hahahaha!..Aku mmg suke tgk org yg bertaik lalat ni..Manisss jee.... ^_^

Then, terputus hubungan selama setahun sebelum kami berdua di takdirkan bertemu semula oleh Allah...Di pendekkan cerita,...selama 3 thn perkenalan, akhirnya kami pun selamat bernikah pada 31 Ogos 2012, hari Jumaat yg lepas..Senang nk ingat ulang thn..Mase hari merdeka..Alhamdulillah..

Skang ni aku bergelar sebagai seorang isteri kepada si dia yang sangat aku sayang. Sampai skang, kdg2 aku dan dia masih seolah olah sedang bermimpi. Tak sangka dah kawin..Bermacam macam dugaan, susah senang dan gelak tawa kami hadapi bersama. Aku suka masak kat umah. Nak makan sama2 dia. Aku cukup gembira bila dia selere makan ape yg aku masak. Susah aku nk gambarkan perasaan tu. Walau letih mcm mana sekalipun menguruskan rumah tangga, tapi bile tgk dia mkn penuh berselere, segala penat lelah aku hilang mcm tu je..Lapang dada...Terima kasih sekali lagi Ya Allah..

Ramai org mengatakan,.."eleyyy..time mule2 kawin je ni"...Tapi aku hanya mampu tersenyum. Aku bukan tiba2 tau masak or rajin masak bile dh berkawin..Tapi kebiasaan sejak dari kecik yg telah di ajar ibu ku yg tercinta, membuatkan aku..boley la masak kalau setakat masak kari ke, kicap ke, sambal ke, tom yam ke, lemak cili api ke dll. So, x rase pun ape yg aku buat tu hanya sekadar tanggungjawab atau time rajin je.. Tetapi sebagai kebaikan atau latihan untuk aku jugak. And x kurang juga org yg selalu mengatakan,..manis tu sekejap je...pegang2 tgn bile jejalan. Bile dah tua nanti..masing2 jln sebatu jauhnya..Aku selalu pesan pada si dia..Jika lupa, tlg lah ingatkan..Selalu perhatikan sama2 sepasang suami isteri warga tua yg berjalan berpimpin tangan..Alangkah bahagianya. Kalau boleh, jgn la manis itu hanya pada awal2 perkahwinan..Biarlah sampai ke akhir hayat...

Ingat ye, ape yang kita harapkan, apa yg kita perkatakan..mungkin akan jadi doa. Jadi, berharap lah, berfikir lah, berdoa lah, dah kata kan lah perkara2 yang baik je. Be positif..InsyaAllah..DIA Maha Mengetahui, Maha Memahami ape yg tersirat..dan apa yang tersurat...Mudah2an ikatan perkahwinan aku dan dia akan berkekalan sehingga ke hembusan nafas terakhir. Semoga sentiasa di limpahi kasih sayang dr Allah S.W.T, dimurahkan rezeki, di kurniakan anak2 yg soleh dan solehah, elok paras rupa dan perkerti, berjaya di dunia dan akhirat serta taat kepada ke dua ibu dan bapa nya. InsyaAllah...Aminnnn........ =)

~ Kau Yang Terindah ~ ....dalam hidup ku...... ^_^